Keeping On, Keeping Up

Here we are at the beginning of the third week of Better U. How am I doing? Well I lost one pound last week. So that is three all together. Still movement in the right direction! I'm glad about that.

I haven't been changing my eating habits enough, it was one of those whirlwind weeks (kids graduating and ending the school year) where I just was too tired to make the right choices. A lot of junk was eaten. We also had many meals out in restaurants. And I had to bake two chocolate cakes for my kids to take to school, which required a lot of frosting and bowl clean up. ahem. I really struggle with planning ahead for weeks like this. I know they are coming, I know the schedule we'll be keeping, so I should just stock up and be ready. There is always next time. This is a learning experience, right?! And this week I'll just have to try to make the better choices as they come up.

I did a little bit of walking. But not with Zelda the wonder dog. She was out of commission this week as last weekend my husband took her on waaaay too long of a walk and swim in the river. I think she might be getting arthritis. So some non-dog-walking happened. But not every day, and not nearly enough. Next week I'll do more walking, hopefully with Zelda.

I did spend many hours in the garden though. Unfortunately they were mostly all at once yesterday. I'm pretty sore today and very pooped, it takes a while longer for me to rebound from a big effort like this. And oh do my hands hurt (maybe I'm getting arthritis? pretty early for that in my life I think). Probably just from holding all the garden tools and wrassling with the blackberry vines.
But I felt really energized and UP after being outside and moving and doing and hanging out with my green friends in the garden. I guess I just need to set a timer or something so I don't overdo.
Because today I've done zero exercise. I get so much out of gardening though, it is one of my favorite things to do in the world, and I am very much in the aerobic zone for most of the time, so it is a good workout for me.

I think I had only 2 green smoothies. I misplanned and I found that I was out of crucial ingredients (like spinach and bananas), and oh those other goodies were so much more available and easy and didn't require a blender. Next week I'll do better with this.

And now some thoughts on keeping up with my family. My husband and I used to be really active, we ran together, lifted weights, went hiking and backpacking almost every weekend, etc. Then came the kids and we just slacked off on all those activities and threw ourselves into doing things with our children because that was the most important thing to us. Now we're finding that the boys are at an age where they want to go out and do stuff with us such as we used to. My husband can still do it. I can, but only to a point. And that limit is really bothering me, I've been kind of obsessing about what I can and can't do.

I don't want my children to remember me as that mom that couldn't make it to the top of the hike. And so far I've only done that once, but it was over 100F in Sedona, and I only was about 1/4 mile from the trail's end. But oh was that embarrassing, I hated how I felt. They were worried about me, I felt badly because they were worried, etc. Why bother, just give up and sit back at the hotel eating my woes away. Nope. Not me.


So, I can still hike. Some. But not like I used to be able to. I used to backpack! That sounds pretty unattainable at this point. I'm much slower than I was before. I have to take more breaks. I don't handle the heat as well. Luckily I'm very stubborn. But that can be dangerous, as I can push myself too far and then crash suddenly, with no energy it is hard to make it off the mountain.
Here is a picture I took this spring in Tahoe, after I'd been left behind by my teenaged son and husband as they went scrambling up the snowy rocks off the trail. I wasn't able to follow. I didn't particularly want to. But I wouldn't even have dared to try. I don't have the balance I would need to attempt something like this. The meds I'm on mostly contribute to that, but I have to be more careful. But at that point in the hike I was already kind of shaky and tired, so pushing myself by rock scrambling on icy rocks wasn't a good choice for me. I took lots of pictures and worried myself into quite a state when they were gone for a long time.


And then on that same trip, they tried snow boarding for the first time. But I didn't even bother. Because I am so overweight, I'm really self-conscious about wearing the special clothing sports like this require. It never fits, and so it isn't comfortable. And if I'm renting it, I'm worrying about busting the seams open. Plus the last time I went skiing as an adult I hurt myself, and since then I've had some bad knee problems. And I didn't like skiing all that much to risk injuring myself. But I had to sit there and wait while they had fun together learning something new. I read a good book, and sat in the sun and that was fine. But it was boring, and I felt left out which isn't too great on a family vacation.

So other than feeling sorry for myself and worrying about worrying my family, these thoughts aren't all that useful. But I know that underlying all this is one of the main reasons that I'm interested in making changes in what I'm eating and how I'm keeping my body in shape. So that I can go out and do stuff with my family.